The jingle of your keys as you walk out the door
I remember when it didn't feel like this before
And now its gotten sore
Maybe I need to turn the page real soon
Because right now its blank, and there's nothing to see
Maybe I should write it in myself, put a little more me in
But I got no confidence
The pencil breaks and I start to tense

So what do I do next
If I can't do it myself
You know I know me best
And I can never get my shit together

Uh oh!
Woah
And its all on me
Its all on me

You are not my friend
You don't even really know who I am
I'm about to be the next big thing
No one wanna be a rock star more than me
Its almost been a year since California
There's so many people coming in and out of my place
And I wonder if they even recognize my face
My name
If I don't make it somethings got to change

So what do I do next
If I can't do it myself
You know I know me best
And I ca-

Hold on let me write a new song
Something you could probably sing along to
Hold on let me write a new song
And it sounds like this
And it sounds like this
It sounds like
Ah

Well god damn
How in the world could this happen
Why did the world let this happen to me
Now I'm bitter
Cold under sheets on my mattress
Somebody slip me the fastest way out
Out

Started using makeup
Now gay men don't like me as much
I wanna be your man
I wanna be your girl
I want the best of both worlds
The last time I loved someone
It didn't really feel like love
And I been thinking about what a relationship could be
for me
You could be my owner
I could be your pet
Text me 'till the night ends
I'll b all set
Maybe call me puppy
Maybe bite my neck
Maybe all I really want is just to have sex
I swear I could care less
I don't get attached
Nothing bad could ever happen
Nothing bad could ever happen
Nothing bad could ever happen
Nothing bad could ever happen
Nothing bad could ever happen
Nothing bad could ever happen
I swear

In the cold, in the sprawl of it all
Would you laugh if I said I was lying
Because I was
I was lying
To myself and everyone else
It was never all for my health
I never really told you how I felt
But did I even really know it for myself
Well
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know

Curling up into a ball, albeit deflated
I think I gave up on hope of ever being sated
I was searching for a way to love my life and body
I got hurt, you got hurt, oh my god, I'm sorry
Its my fault, I'm a mess
Destroyed at my hand's behest
There's no peace without love
Think I best be going west
I might die all alone
Washed away with all the rest
Washed away with all the
And you can't feel it
I hate these lyrics
And no matter just how hard I try
It never really comes out right
Like is it even worth a try
Did you wanna see behind these eyes

I don't think so
But whatever
Its fine
Guess I was too slow
To catch up with the globe
I could have set myself up
Like five to six years ago
But I didn't do shit for myself
And sometimes I feel like nothing
I'm nothing

August 14, 2023
Visiting the valley
Smoking on the back patio
And I'm looking at all these familiar trees
The album comes out in less than a month
Just been finishing up the details
I wouldn't believe you if you showed me the future
When I turned 21
I was floating down the creek
And I felt your embrace (Your embrace)
And you pulled me from the baggage
In the crawlspace
The past few years been so rough
And I'm better for it now
I'm saying what I mean
And I say it for myself

(Listen to your heart, 1, 2, 3, 4)

Yeah
Life is a tight rope walk
And you might get hurt
But you get back up
And we make it work
You can take your time
Sitting in the dirt
But don't stay put
You don't wanna lurk
In the deep damp dark
For the rest of your life
Don't you cut that rope
With the edge of your knife
In the realm of now
You can think that its right
But if when you go
Know the devil and its bite
Everything you love
It would never be the same
Its a mystery
What could be out of frame
And I hope you know
What you got to your name
California 2020
Everything was up in flames
It would never be the same
It would never be the same
It would never be the same
It would never-
It would never
Be
The same

In the clouds above BK
I can sorta make out your face
While I watch from the comfort of my couch
Sending kisses stuck in place
I like what I got right here
And I'm glad I just made par
I'll be back sometime someday
I'll catch u at stars

Thank you so much